One day I would really like to know what goes on in the minds of NRIs when they visit India. Do they secretly thank the day when they or their parents were granted work permits of The US of A or they actually miss their homeland. If given a chance will they really like to relocate themselves back to India as is often declared by them? Why India still holds an attraction to them? Do they come back to meet their family or is it the charm of being treated as a royalty.
India with all its shortcomings or for that matter any country/ state where you have grown up, does holds a special place in our memories. We are moved if any thing related to the place is in the news, we are always curious about the people we grew up with. We even go back to the shops where we are recognized by the owner and the attendants. Similar is with the NRIs who have moved base to foreign land. Or this is what it should be? But more often i have witnessed a huge shift in there loyalties. India to them is a convenient place to shop, to pile up their wardrobe with ethnic clothes, and Indian kitchen equipments as one gets them cheap here.
They demand/require special treatment, claiming weakened immunity because of living in super clean environment. I know its not fair to generalize. But this is the attitude most NRIs are afflicted with. Somehow it doesn't makes sense to me then why do they waste their holidays and money in a land so dusty and anarchic.
Now when India too can boast of malls and better living conditions available to middle class, it leaves them almost disappointed. The very customs which are a burden to them in India become a reason for their weekend get together.
Now, please excuse me for what I am writing is just one side of the story and their justifications are yet to reach me. But till then, I refuse being treated as some ignorant country cousin.!
OOps was that too harsh!!
Still all my friends and relative abroad are welcome to India and my humble house, coz its through them I see world in its hi-tech avatar.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
women vs women
औरत ही औरत की सबसे बड़ी दुश्मन हे .
This is something I had always heard. Regretfully enough I have seen this in practice as well. Few years back , there was a news in the media of women being molested in our capital city. Her fault, she 'dared' to step out of her house at midnight. Most(read all) of the women had their views on this incident and their comments to my astonishment were far from sympathetic. They felt , the onus of being safe rests on on the shoulders of woman herself. The victim should have known better. I am not contesting the safety rules which though differ in our society for men and women but have kept many accidents at bay. My consternation is about the attitude of other women. Every one of them didn't even flinch before condemning the victim either as a slut or stupid. Their ' logical ' explanation to such an apathetic view, hamara samaj, our Indian society. I wish to tell them its us who constitute our society and if every woman cares enough for other woman we can have a society which is sensitive and civilized.
Why is it that women can not respect themselves enough!! If they are ready to subjugate their needs (forget about wants and desire) for " happiness of family" who can help them. Our hypocrite society believes in the glorification of martyrdom. Often I have been presented with the examples, amply aggrandized, how a scholarly woman gave up her pursuits just fit in the the expectations of a family which gracefully accepted a padhi likhi bahu.
The years of putting down and conditioning of w omen's mind with the facts that malleability and submissiveness are the virtues for any female human to be recognized as a girl or woman. Minus these qualities female humans are not fit to transcend as anybody's wife or daughter, even mother.
Isn't it a pity that even in this century we come across incidences of honour killing, female foeticide, female infanticide. Thus it is up to us, the women, who should change their outlook and value themselves a bit. Human life be it of a man or woman is a gift, this is something our hindu scriptures also confirm.
This is something I had always heard. Regretfully enough I have seen this in practice as well. Few years back , there was a news in the media of women being molested in our capital city. Her fault, she 'dared' to step out of her house at midnight. Most(read all) of the women had their views on this incident and their comments to my astonishment were far from sympathetic. They felt , the onus of being safe rests on on the shoulders of woman herself. The victim should have known better. I am not contesting the safety rules which though differ in our society for men and women but have kept many accidents at bay. My consternation is about the attitude of other women. Every one of them didn't even flinch before condemning the victim either as a slut or stupid. Their ' logical ' explanation to such an apathetic view, hamara samaj, our Indian society. I wish to tell them its us who constitute our society and if every woman cares enough for other woman we can have a society which is sensitive and civilized.
Why is it that women can not respect themselves enough!! If they are ready to subjugate their needs (forget about wants and desire) for " happiness of family" who can help them. Our hypocrite society believes in the glorification of martyrdom. Often I have been presented with the examples, amply aggrandized, how a scholarly woman gave up her pursuits just fit in the the expectations of a family which gracefully accepted a padhi likhi bahu.
The years of putting down and conditioning of w omen's mind with the facts that malleability and submissiveness are the virtues for any female human to be recognized as a girl or woman. Minus these qualities female humans are not fit to transcend as anybody's wife or daughter, even mother.
Isn't it a pity that even in this century we come across incidences of honour killing, female foeticide, female infanticide. Thus it is up to us, the women, who should change their outlook and value themselves a bit. Human life be it of a man or woman is a gift, this is something our hindu scriptures also confirm.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
our reverential past
So how many us believe that our forefathers were happier!! Values have deteriorated? We are trading off our values , culture , traditions for an elusive glitzy, glamorous future?
I often come across people lamenting our "glorious past".
"Tolerance levels have gone down" , I heard recently at a meeting in my daughter's school. "Our children do not show enough respect, culprit is modern day nuclear family". Somehow it all sounded phony, a sham. I wondered how tolerant the speaker herself was? OK , let me not make it a personal attack. This is what is commonly believed, we are better, more responsible, polite as against this new crop of brash, impertinent, who cares- attitude flashing generation.
Scratch a bit and these very tolerant people are ready to explode if their elders try to interfere with their lifestyle.
I beg/assert to differ, my belief is today's generation certainly practices ethics, exhibits and believes in human values better than the previous generation. How can we forget a young employee(an alumni of IIM) of IOC was murdered brutally only because he wouldn't give a nod for adulteration in petrol.
With the support of media people holding responsible public posts are becoming answerable to the tax payers. This has helped to bring down if not entirely wipe off corruption in government sector. Do not we all remember the days( i mean those born before 80's, in 90's the revolution had already set in) when getting a simple land line phone connection at home was nothing less a family celebration occasion. And process would include chai- paani(bribe) at every step. Touts at the railway counter almost developed their profession into lucrative career option.
Parents too never shared the kind of rapport today's young parents have with their kids. Talking for myself, my mother like my friend's' mothers never attended PTMs as it was meant for students who were either disobedient or not good in studies or both. But I never miss a chance to be a part of my daughter's social circle. My mother took pride in saying only brow beating was enough to put us children in place, her kids(me and my brother) never talked back. That is the communication was one way only. Whereas I secretly feel proud when my daughter voices her views and wishes vehemently(though many are unreasonable), still I feel equal and fair chance in life is every body's right.
Blame is put squarely on the nuclear family for the down slide of culture and values, tearing of our so called strong social fabric. A drastic change is observed in our social settings. Most want to join a safe and steady naukri instead of a risky joint family business. People are moving to urban settings abandoning their land and farming. Thus financial dependency on elders is reducing with every generation, in fact most often children earn far more than their parents. Therefore a lifestyle of younger generation's choice where elders do not always feel welcome or are not ready/able to adjust. But adaptation is something which seen homo sapiens as the most evolved species. Our cultural values revolve around the theme of paying homage to elders. Understandably they were the ones who ruled the family business and hence the flow of money. With age and mutual understanding the business would pass on to the sons and father's role would be confined to that of a consultant, a titular head and no more. Children on their part never failed to gratitude for what they had inherited. Especially it was the duty of women folk, who would dutifully cook favourite food for fathers in law and on certain festivals show special reverence towards their mothers in law. This entire system safeguarded the interest of elderly in the society. But now the equations have changed and younger generation is no more dependent on family for sustenance. This has infused a new self confidence in today's generation which is misinterpreted as indolence and insensitive behaviour.
I often come across people lamenting our "glorious past".
"Tolerance levels have gone down" , I heard recently at a meeting in my daughter's school. "Our children do not show enough respect, culprit is modern day nuclear family". Somehow it all sounded phony, a sham. I wondered how tolerant the speaker herself was? OK , let me not make it a personal attack. This is what is commonly believed, we are better, more responsible, polite as against this new crop of brash, impertinent, who cares- attitude flashing generation.
Scratch a bit and these very tolerant people are ready to explode if their elders try to interfere with their lifestyle.
I beg/assert to differ, my belief is today's generation certainly practices ethics, exhibits and believes in human values better than the previous generation. How can we forget a young employee(an alumni of IIM) of IOC was murdered brutally only because he wouldn't give a nod for adulteration in petrol.
With the support of media people holding responsible public posts are becoming answerable to the tax payers. This has helped to bring down if not entirely wipe off corruption in government sector. Do not we all remember the days( i mean those born before 80's, in 90's the revolution had already set in) when getting a simple land line phone connection at home was nothing less a family celebration occasion. And process would include chai- paani(bribe) at every step. Touts at the railway counter almost developed their profession into lucrative career option.
Parents too never shared the kind of rapport today's young parents have with their kids. Talking for myself, my mother like my friend's' mothers never attended PTMs as it was meant for students who were either disobedient or not good in studies or both. But I never miss a chance to be a part of my daughter's social circle. My mother took pride in saying only brow beating was enough to put us children in place, her kids(me and my brother) never talked back. That is the communication was one way only. Whereas I secretly feel proud when my daughter voices her views and wishes vehemently(though many are unreasonable), still I feel equal and fair chance in life is every body's right.
Blame is put squarely on the nuclear family for the down slide of culture and values, tearing of our so called strong social fabric. A drastic change is observed in our social settings. Most want to join a safe and steady naukri instead of a risky joint family business. People are moving to urban settings abandoning their land and farming. Thus financial dependency on elders is reducing with every generation, in fact most often children earn far more than their parents. Therefore a lifestyle of younger generation's choice where elders do not always feel welcome or are not ready/able to adjust. But adaptation is something which seen homo sapiens as the most evolved species. Our cultural values revolve around the theme of paying homage to elders. Understandably they were the ones who ruled the family business and hence the flow of money. With age and mutual understanding the business would pass on to the sons and father's role would be confined to that of a consultant, a titular head and no more. Children on their part never failed to gratitude for what they had inherited. Especially it was the duty of women folk, who would dutifully cook favourite food for fathers in law and on certain festivals show special reverence towards their mothers in law. This entire system safeguarded the interest of elderly in the society. But now the equations have changed and younger generation is no more dependent on family for sustenance. This has infused a new self confidence in today's generation which is misinterpreted as indolence and insensitive behaviour.
Friday, July 25, 2008
battaling the demons in me
My lost chances!! How and when shall I be able to overcome those memories. Hell!! perhaps I don't even try. I wish I could squeeze out all the negativity in me and make a new start.
Yes, adjust, understand as you can not change others. WHAT CAN NOT BE CURED HAS TO BE ENDURED. I am peeved at this enduring system. Glorification of martyrdom.
Yes, adjust, understand as you can not change others. WHAT CAN NOT BE CURED HAS TO BE ENDURED. I am peeved at this enduring system. Glorification of martyrdom.
Friday, April 18, 2008
U me aur Hum/ a horror love story
The movie belies our hopes of a magical love saga, aka Q2Q , maine pyar kiya...
UmH is nothing short of Ramsay's likes flick, with the difference Kajol being possessed by Alzheimer's instead of an evil spirit. Yes , this is how Piya's character is crafted. The ghoul of Alzheimer's overtakes Piya and toss goes the romance out of hers and Ajay's life. Ajay Devgan plays the martyr to the hilt, no matter what , "I'll care for you, because its not U or Me but HUM".
Story though introduces the ghost of Alzheimer but no remedy is talked about, the ghost cannot be exorcised, one has to live with Alzheimer and and its ever worsening effects on the victim and her relatives. Again not U, not Me but HUM.
UmH is nothing short of Ramsay's likes flick, with the difference Kajol being possessed by Alzheimer's instead of an evil spirit. Yes , this is how Piya's character is crafted. The ghoul of Alzheimer's overtakes Piya and toss goes the romance out of hers and Ajay's life. Ajay Devgan plays the martyr to the hilt, no matter what , "I'll care for you, because its not U or Me but HUM".
Story though introduces the ghost of Alzheimer but no remedy is talked about, the ghost cannot be exorcised, one has to live with Alzheimer and and its ever worsening effects on the victim and her relatives. Again not U, not Me but HUM.
Perfect situations to perpetuate pity and condescension for the patient are created.All we get to see are the histrionics of Kajol as an Alzheimer patient.In TZP the plot was intricately yet neatly crafted to tell a story about a dyslexic child, a perfect blend of authentic and drama. In fact drama content made the genuine problem more poignant and understandable. This technique of knitting an social issue with soul tearing story is entirely missing in U Me AUR Hum. In fact the movie rather spreads misconceptions about Alzheimer's in an utterly irresponsible manner.
Yes, the movie is about Hum with a lopsided u or me, depending which way you look at it. Neither Piya's character makes an effort to come to terms with her impending disorder nor her husband extends any help to make Piya rediscover her lost mental agility. All Ajay does is to give her wife pitying,avuncularlooks which convey," me being the man of the house and of your life shall fend for you always, but I'm helpless to do anything more than that."
A loose plot and more loosely its rendition is done. Dialouges are replete with twaddle which beyond a point generates more anger than laughter.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Faith Vs God
Spirituality, what is it ? Religon- our shackels or road to freedom? God where are you? Is there God at all?
If nothing else faith and belief render calm and serenity to our souls. Believing unconditionally that their is someone to take care when you falter, someone to turn to when you can't bear it anymore, extends security to our ever fearful inner self.
Still as we grow in years, these qualities vanish to give place to a more doubtful you. Oh!! how do I wish I can believe in God unshakably, unquestioningly. What peace then it would be to know that no matter what, God shall always stand by you, protect you and embrace you. Again you see a matter of faith which in this fast track world is not easy to hang on to.
If nothing else faith and belief render calm and serenity to our souls. Believing unconditionally that their is someone to take care when you falter, someone to turn to when you can't bear it anymore, extends security to our ever fearful inner self.
Still as we grow in years, these qualities vanish to give place to a more doubtful you. Oh!! how do I wish I can believe in God unshakably, unquestioningly. What peace then it would be to know that no matter what, God shall always stand by you, protect you and embrace you. Again you see a matter of faith which in this fast track world is not easy to hang on to.
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