women vs women

औरत ही औरत की सबसे बड़ी दुश्मन हे .

This is something I had always heard. Regretfully enough I have seen this in practice as well. Few years back , there was a news in the media of women being molested in our capital city. Her fault, she 'dared' to step out of her house at midnight. Most(read all) of the women had their views on this incident and their comments to my astonishment were far from sympathetic. They felt , the onus of being safe rests on on the shoulders of woman herself. The victim should have known better. I am not contesting the safety rules which though differ in our society for men and women but have kept many accidents at bay. My consternation is about the attitude of other women. Every one of them didn't even flinch before condemning the victim either as a slut or stupid. Their ' logical ' explanation to such an apathetic view, hamara samaj, our Indian society. I wish to tell them its us who constitute our society and if every woman cares enough for other woman we can have a society which is sensitive and civilized.
Why is it that women can not respect themselves enough!! If they are ready to subjugate their needs (forget about wants and desire) for " happiness of family" who can help them. Our hypocrite society believes in the glorification of martyrdom. Often I have been presented with the examples, amply aggrandized, how a scholarly woman gave up her pursuits just fit in the the expectations of a family which gracefully accepted a padhi likhi bahu.
The years of putting down and conditioning of w omen's mind with the facts that malleability and submissiveness are the virtues for any female human to be recognized as a girl or woman. Minus these qualities female humans are not fit to transcend as anybody's wife or daughter, even mother.
Isn't it a pity that even in this century we come across incidences of honour killing, female foeticide, female infanticide. Thus it is up to us, the women, who should change their outlook and value themselves a bit. Human life be it of a man or woman is a gift, this is something our hindu scriptures also confirm.

our reverential past

So how many us believe that our forefathers were happier!! Values have deteriorated? We are trading off our values , culture , traditions for an elusive glitzy, glamorous future?
I often come across people lamenting our "glorious past".
"Tolerance levels have gone down" , I heard recently at a meeting in my daughter's school. "Our children do not show enough respect, culprit is modern day nuclear family". Somehow it all sounded phony, a sham. I wondered how tolerant the speaker herself was? OK , let me not make it a personal attack. This is what is commonly believed, we are better, more responsible, polite as against this new crop of brash, impertinent, who cares- attitude flashing generation.
Scratch a bit and these very tolerant people are ready to explode if their elders try to interfere with their lifestyle.
I beg/assert to differ, my belief is today's generation certainly practices ethics, exhibits and believes in human values better than the previous generation. How can we forget a young employee(an alumni of IIM) of IOC was murdered brutally only because he wouldn't give a nod for adulteration in petrol.
With the support of media people holding responsible public posts are becoming answerable to the tax payers. This has helped to bring down if not entirely wipe off corruption in government sector. Do not we all remember the days( i mean those born before 80's, in 90's the revolution had already set in) when getting a simple land line phone connection at home was nothing less a family celebration occasion. And process would include chai- paani(bribe) at every step. Touts at the railway counter almost developed their profession into lucrative career option.
Parents too never shared the kind of rapport today's young parents have with their kids. Talking for myself, my mother like my friend's' mothers never attended PTMs as it was meant for students who were either disobedient or not good in studies or both. But I never miss a chance to be a part of my daughter's social circle. My mother took pride in saying only brow beating was enough to put us children in place, her kids(me and my brother) never talked back. That is the communication was one way only. Whereas I secretly feel proud when my daughter voices her views and wishes vehemently(though many are unreasonable), still I feel equal and fair chance in life is every body's right.
Blame is put squarely on the nuclear family for the down slide of culture and values, tearing of our so called strong social fabric. A drastic change is observed in our social settings. Most want to join a safe and steady naukri instead of a risky joint family business. People are moving to urban settings abandoning their land and farming. Thus financial dependency on elders is reducing with every generation, in fact most often children earn far more than their parents. Therefore a lifestyle of younger generation's choice where elders do not always feel welcome or are not ready/able to adjust. But adaptation is something which seen homo sapiens as the most evolved species. Our cultural values revolve around the theme of paying homage to elders. Understandably they were the ones who ruled the family business and hence the flow of money. With age and mutual understanding the business would pass on to the sons and father's role would be confined to that of a consultant, a titular head and no more. Children on their part never failed to gratitude for what they had inherited. Especially it was the duty of women folk, who would dutifully cook favourite food for fathers in law and on certain festivals show special reverence towards their mothers in law. This entire system safeguarded the interest of elderly in the society. But now the equations have changed and younger generation is no more dependent on family for sustenance. This has infused a new self confidence in today's generation which is misinterpreted as indolence and insensitive behaviour.